Funny Wedding Advice: 75+ Hilarious Tips & Marriage Wisdom (2024)

Daily Life Wisdom

• “Never go to bed angry… stay up and plot your revenge instead! 😈”
• “Marriage is about finding that special someone to annoy for the rest of your life. Choose wisely! 🎯”
• “The secret to a happy marriage? Two TVs and separate Netflix accounts! 📺”

Need more humor ideas? Check out our guide to funny wedding wishes!

Communication Tips

• “The three magic words for a happy marriage: ‘You were right’ 🎭”
• “Remember: ‘Fine’ never means fine, and ‘Whatever’ means prepare for war! ⚔️”
• “When in doubt, nod and say ‘Yes, dear’ – works for both spouses! 👍”

Just like our guide to speech humor, timing is everything with marriage jokes!

From 10+ Years Married

• “Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade! ♠️”
• “The key to marriage is finding someone who’s weird in the same way you are. Congrats on finding your weirdo! 🤪”
• “After 10 years, you’ll develop the ability to have entire arguments using only eyebrow movements. It’s a superpower! 🦸‍♂️”

For more anniversary wisdom, check out our funny anniversary quotes!

Money Matters

• “Always remember: what’s yours is hers, and what’s hers is also hers. Simple math! 💰”
• “Hide money in different places. You’ll either save for retirement or create a fun treasure hunt! 🗺️”
• “Joint accounts are like sharing Netflix – someone’s always spending more than their fair share! 🎬”

Household Harmony

• “Marriage is about compromise: Let them think they’re in charge, but keep the WiFi password to yourself! 📱”
• “The person who cooks doesn’t clean. The person who doesn’t cook also doesn’t clean. Welcome to marriage! 🍽️”
• “Never argue about whose turn it is to do the dishes. Just buy paper plates! 📝”