Funny Marriage Quotes: 90+ Hilarious Sayings & Advice

Time-Tested Humor

• “Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park! 🦖”
• “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life! 😈”
• “Marriage: When dating goes past the free trial period! 💝”

Need more ideas? Check out our funny wedding wishes for inspiration!

Modern Marriage Observations

• “Marriage is mostly about asking ‘What do you want for dinner?’ until one of you dies! 🍽️”
• “Married life: When ‘Netflix and chill’ actually means watching Netflix and falling asleep! 😴”
• “Marriage: The only marathon where eating pizza on the couch counts as training! 🍕”

Looking for more clever ideas? See our funny wedding advice!

Newlywed Phase

• “First year of marriage: Still checking if you like each other without makeup on! 💄”
• “Honeymoon phase is over when you start using your phone in the bathroom! 📱”
• “Early marriage is realizing your spouse has never properly loaded a dishwasher in their life! 🍽️”

Planning an anniversary celebration? See our funny anniversary quotes!

Veteran Couples

• “10 years in: Communication is 90% eyebrow movements and 10% grunts! 🤨”
• “After 20 years, we’ve mastered the art of having entire arguments in complete silence! 🤐”
• “25 years of marriage: When you both want to be left alone, together! 💑”

Household Harmony

• “Marriage is someone forever asking ‘Did you see where I put my…’ 🔍”
• “A good marriage is finding someone who knows how you like the thermostat! 🌡️”
• “Marriage is having a live-in food critic who never learned to cook! 👨‍🍳”